Those Summer Nights

Admit it, you totally just sang that line, didn’t you? And if you didn’t the first time, you definitely just did. It’s cool. I sang it out loud as I wrote it.

Now that summer vacation 2016 is officially over, I’m doing what all (some?) parents are doing right now. I’m wondering how it managed to race by so quickly. Don’t get me wrong, there were days that seemed to drag on forever when the kids would be close to killing each other over who ate the last of the goldfish crackers. Then there were days where everything was right in our world and it was smooth sailing. Thankfully we had more of the latter and I think I’ve figured out why.

In years past when summer vacation would hit, I would do my damndest to keep them busy because if they were hopping, they weren’t making me crazy or picking on each other. Play dates, camps, sleepovers, swimming lessons, you name it. By the end of summer vacay, I was so exhausted I couldn’t wait to send them back to school and I didn’t like that feeling. Someone once told me that we only get 18 summers with our kids. The more I thought about that particular fact, the more I wanted to make the most of these fleeting moments. I want to spend time with my babes before they think I’m just an annoying parent, chauffeur or ATM.

This year, I booked nothing. We got up when we felt like it, did what we wanted and spent a butt load of time together. They got to have sleepovers with their friends, late night movies with me. But it was all done when we wanted to. And the craziest part is that without instituting a firm summer bedtime, they went to bed easily when they were done for the day. Sometimes that was around 8 and sometimes it was 10.

We live in an age where children are so over-scheduled and over-stimulated. We rush them from piano, to swimming lessons, to skating or gymnastics. As parents we spend most of our time (love my mobile office) justifying all these activities and the costs associated with them by telling ourselves that the sacrifices we make for them today will make them more successful later in life. I really believe that most kids just need a break. They need time to go outside and get dirty, complain about doing chores around the house. They need a chance to be BORED. They need a chance to just BE.

It was this that sparked the Summer Of Nothing Scheduled. In our home, the kids get swimming lessons (those are not negotiable) and their choice of one activity. Honestly, I never wanted to be running 6 days a week to different sports because I know how much we all need a little downtime. For the first couple of days it was kinda great. Jammies and movies, baking, reading, they loved it. We’d go for walks after lunch and check out what was happening around the neighborhood. Then the boredom hit. My first answer to the bored declaration is usually something to do with laundry or toilets and the kids will magically find something to do. This time around it was a little different as there was no escaping the laundry or toilets. They learned really quickly not to use that word with me. Instead they would ask to go on a bike ride or a walk to the park. Sometimes we’d paint and other times we’d go outside and decorate the driveway. A jump on the trampoline or just laying in the grass, they quickly learned to self-soothe the boredom boogies. And it’s not a word I’ve heard much of since.

I needed these summer days to begin to process what was awaiting us in September. The fall would bring about some substantial changes in our lives and I was still trying to figure out how the hell it had happened. There are days when I feel as though time escapes me. I can’t for the life of my figure out how it manages to go so fast. Each morning when the kids would come downstairs in their pajamas complete with appropriate bed head, I’d spend time studying them. Some days it was comical as one couldn’t stop yawning and another was scratching their butt without a worry in the world. There was one morning my middle little was rubbing her eyes while walking, hit the wall and went down like a sack of bricks. There were no tears, just a stunned expression as she tried to determine how she had traveled so far. I tried so hard to suppress the giggles, but soon enough, I was laying on the floor in a crumpled heap laughing my ass off and she was still sitting there, totally stunned. Other mornings were quiet and uneventful. I watched all three of them grow up in those 2 short months. The changes seemed small at first, like my youngest deciding he no longer needed help brushing his teeth. He would go upstairs with his sisters, brush his teeth and come down so I could check them. Then he started picking his own clothes, dressing himself from head to toe, making his own bed. Playing independently for longer and longer stretches of time, creating worlds that only he and his Transformers could understand. My middle started spending more time in her room. For Christmas last year, the only thing she wanted was a desk. So we bought her a desk. It’s covered with reading books and notebooks and paper that are filled with drawings and designs. She’d tidy her room and then sit down to put to paper whatever her mind could imagine. And she’d get lost in it. My littlest lady discovered a passion this summer. The biggest one, well she was always content to read or dance for hours on end. She rekindled friendships, spend her time with the people that brought her joy. She created dance recitals almost weekly and I’d sit and watch every movement, every expression. I share her love for music, but it is she that can express it beautifully by moving her body. As big as she is, she still (not so secretly) embraced the days where we’d cuddle up and watch movies

In the days since, change has happened. My oldest is off to junior high via public transportation. My littlest is into kinder mornings. My middle free spirit is now in senior elementary as one of the “big kids”. And here I am questioning my sanity and wondering where all the warm weather has gone. For the first time in many years, I’m alone in the mornings. It’s quiet and taking some getting used to. I’ve gotten super efficient at getting my business to-do list all checked off. It’s amazing how quickly some things can go when there aren’t constant demands for snacks and entertainment. Change is good, for all of us.

As I watch them venture out into this new season, I can’t help but look forward to next summer when we can have the Summer Of Nothing Scheduled V2.0. I wonder where adventure will take us next.