Growing Through It All

You’ve likely heard the saying “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”. It suggests that everyone we encounter on our path has been put there to play a specific role. Naturally it’s brought about some reflection around the experiences we have with people, how some fit into the story of our lives. Are they a main character? A small bit part? A chapter or 3? I thought about all the different people that have contributed to my story over my almost 45 years on this earth. Each person has weaved themselves into the very threads of my being and I’m grateful for the space they occupied however long or short it was, because without them I wouldn’t be who I am today. 

I’ve never believed much in coincidence. I think that the people we meet, the places we go and the time we spend is all deliberate. Are we characters in a story that was written in the stars millennia ago? Is there such thing as free will? I don’t think these are questions we’ll ever be able to answer with certainty, but I do like the mystery around it all. I believe that there is some level of choice and there’s a good part of my brain that is sometimes occupied by the curiosity of “What If”. What if I had made a different decision somewhere along the way? How would that have affected my path? What would have been presented as a result of that particular choice? Or would my life have course-corrected? The questions just get curiouser and curiouser the longer I let my mind wander. 

The people I’ve met along the way have taught me endless lessons and I didn’t escape without a few bumps, bruises and scars. I have a favourite mug that makes me think of one of the greatest women and a top 5 experience that we got to do together. I have a collection of CDs that were made especially for me that take me back to moments in time that I cherish. I have mental mementos of times I’m not proud of. Photos of places, people, giggles, smiles and tears. Proof of a life that has been well loved and lived so far. Journals that hold a series of stories, experiences and memories. A lifetime in print.

It’s wild to think about the previous versions of me that have walked through time. There is still work to be done, but I feel like I’ve come a long way from the wide-eyed girl I was, once upon a time. I’ve healed things deep in my soul, stared generational trauma in the eye and decided that it stopped with me. That, of all the things I was going to be giving my kids, that wouldn’t be one of them. I feel like I’ve been so many things through the years. But what I do know for sure is that the me that walks through my days today is drastically different. And who I am today won’t be who I am a year from now. 

An experience I’ve had (and I know I’m not alone in this) is that when I’ve dug into some work on myself, it made some people pretty uncomfortable. Like working through my inner junk was threatening to them in some way. It took me a long time to figure out that the reason your work can be met with resistance from others is because it can threaten their belief system, their foundation. For example if they feel stuck and believe that they are stuck, you working to become unstuck threatens what they believe to be true and it makes that person experience discomfort around their belief system, even if they can’t put it all into words. It works the same way for boundaries that you put in place. New boundaries change access to you. It alters the way you allow someone to treat or talk to you. I don’t see that resistance as being a bad thing anymore. I used to, but that was before I understood it. The people that support your change or work to understand it are special. Who knows, maybe your courage will inspire the ones that are wary of it to begin their healing, their understanding. Just remember that you don’t need the permission or ease of others to move in pursuit of who you want to be and how you want to feel. 

I’ve wondered a lot about what the point of this life was supposed to be. There are so many incredible things we get to do, see and be a part of. We get to LIVE it. But I’ve come to realize that the point, the goal of it all was always meant to be about growth. Evolution. Learning. Teaching. Loving. If that isn’t it for you, what are you doing? How are you living? Are you happy? Satisfied? 

A reason, a season, a lifetime or a lesson. That’s my version of it.