Twas The Sunday Before Christmas

It’s the Sunday before Christmas. The house is cozy, calm. The kids are off for winter break so there’s no rush to get off to anywhere and it’s pretty darn cold out so the Universe is presenting a pretty great case for staying in. I have some time to sit and just be. Catch up on some long overdue writing. The week ahead will be full of family time, traditions and down time. There will be time to do absolutely nothing. And I can’t wait. I need some nothing in my life right now. 

This Christmas will look different than last. Thankfully. Gratefully. I don’t know if my heart could take another Zoom or FaceTime holiday celebration. Our family of 5 had an incredible chance last season to dig in and connect with each other. We played games, watched holiday movies, drove around looking at Christmas lights. I love this family of mine. And I love that we actually enjoy spending time together. 

As we enter into this holiday season and get back to some regularly scheduled family programming, I thought I’d share a reminder with whoever needs to hear it: You don’t need to go along with something if it’s not good for your mental health just because it’s something you’ve always done. Gone are the days that you need to subject yourself to shitty, overrated situations to keep the peace or make someone else happy. Your happiness matters too. In fact, it should matter most of all. 

It’s been repeatedly presented to me over the past couple years that sometimes the people that are supposed to be our people aren’t the best for us. As we head into a time of year that can be both joyful and stressful, take your boundaries with you wherever you go. Use them to protect your peace because YOUR peace is what is most important. You and your well being should be your priority as you move through any season in your life. I know how easy it is to push those gut feelings aside this time of year. I know how easy it is to pretend that you’re ok with something when you’re not. I know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you don’t stand up for yourself when someone tosses an unnecessary comment your way. I am definitely guilty of sacrificing my own well being for inclusion and the approval of others. And I know I’m not alone in any of this. 

I want you to know that your habit of doing this isn’t your fault. Chances are, this has been literally been born into you. As children, we witness patterns and behaviours that we adopt to be our own during our formative years. It feels like they are just a part of what makes us who we are. These learnings can take years to unravel and rewrite, but with time, patience, grace and work it can be done. I can promise you that every time you choose to honour yourself and your feelings, it gets a little easier to do. My focus over the last 20-something months has been to do the next right thing. Make the next right choice that will serve me now and in the future. That is where I’ve found my groove this year. Each time I’ve found myself in a pickle, I focused on making the next right decision. In the moments where it’s been easier to choose loyalty to someone or something else, I choose me. Well, most of the time hahaha. I’m still working on it. 

The longer you pretend to be someone you’re not, the easier it becomes to forget who you are. If you find yourself in a place where you have a hard time recognizing the face that looks back at you in the mirror, do yourself a favour and create space to get some perspective on who you are and who you want to become. 

My wish for you this holiday season is that you remember who you are. The You you were before the world told you which space you were supposed to occupy. The You that believed you could do anything you set your heart and mind to. The You that is growing into the amazing being you always knew you would be. I wish you courage and bravery. I wish for you to find clarity, peace, love and light. I wish for you to be where you want to be when you want to be there. And I wish for you to remember that you are absolutely enough as you are. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays friends. Sending love and light all over the world for you.

xo