The Girlfriend Part Two

Picking up right where we left off…

Life and social groups change when you become a parent, especially when you’re the first or second to birth a tiny human in your posse. Your outlook, lifestyle, priorities, sleep schedule and more gets turned on its ass as you try to figure out how to keep the new noisy creature alive. Being the first gives your friends an interesting advantage though. You and your baby are the test dummies, the ones who get to play trial and error for 37 hours a day and when you figure out what works, you share it with your buds when they create life. Sweet deal for them hey?

The friends I acquired during this time period were kind of split. I didn’t buy into a lot of the conventional shit when it came to raising my babies and because of that, some of the relationships were very short lived. I was shunned by a seemingly friendly bunch when they found out I wasn’t exclusively nursing. Well, it’s a good thing I didn’t need the Righteous Mommy Group stamp of approval to continue knocking it out of the park as a mom. Anyhow, I’m getting off track.

Some days, having kids felt like going off to a war that none of us were sure we’d win. Bedtime would roll around and, after getting the tiny terrors into their respective beds, I’d just sit on the floor amongst all the chaos that had been created that day. Then my front door would open and in would walk my beautiful friend with a bottle of wine and she’d say, “No talking, just booze and reality TV.” She got me. The thing about good girlfriends is they just know what you need because they’ve been in the trenches right there with you. These are also the beautiful souls that would call and suggest a McDonald’s Play Place lunch date to save both of you from making a lunch that no one was going to eat anyways. Quit finger wagging the McD’s lunch. You’ve done it too so holster the judgement for another entry. I’ll give you plenty of reasons to use it later on, don’t worry.

As an adult making friends isn’t always easy, but the good ones are worth the effort. Sometimes you meet by chance because your kids become friends and all of a sudden you can’t imagine your days without them. Other times it’s because your eyes catch in the produce section of the grocery store as you both mutually wonder what these veggies will look like thrown all over your floor. Or somehow you meet by chance when you photograph them as they prepare for their first baby. Life can get complicated, schedules can be conflicting and because your personal time can sometimes be sparse, you get a lot pickier about who you choose to spend it with. Well, I do. I want to spend my time with people that are like-minded enough that we share common interests and goals for our futures. The ones who lift me higher on days when I’m not feeling so great about myself and believe in me so damn much that I ACTUALLY start to believe it myself. The ones that I can share any part of myself with and not regret my words the minute they escape my lips. The ones who, for some unknown reason, understand your brand of sarcasm and humor and don’t take themselves too seriously. And the ones that understand how completely ok it is to drink a bottle of wine by yourself on a Wednesday night because it’s been a long couple of days. Judgement be damned, those are my people.

I value authenticity, honesty, loyalty, integrity and a dry sense of humor above most everything else. I love my friends that tell me a certain top or pair of pants was a “brave” (read: stupid) choice. I love my friends that are so into owning who and what they are that they support the hell out of me because they choose to. Because they love me as much as I love them. My taste in people has absolutely changed over my life. I don’t have time for shitty self-talk or complaining about so-and-so because they brought STORE BOUGHT CUPCAKES to the bake sale. I no longer feel the need to pretend to like something or someone because everyone else does. I am courteous and polite, but I’m no longer a show pony. I’m good over here, chilling with my blog, my book, my business and my iPad. You can do you and I’ll keep doing me.

Life is too damn short to make time for people that don’t make time for you. It’s too precious of a commodity to spend with people that don’t fit, doing things that don’t ignite a fire in your soul. My tribe is a small, eclectic bunch of crazy chicks that celebrate everything life and lessons have to offer. The approach each day with the exuberance of a child on Christmas morning because they believe life is a gift and they are squeezing and savoring every drop. They are married, single, mamas (of the human and fur baby varieties), entrepreneurs, corporate professionals, wives, athletes and badass bitches that I have the incredible privilege of knowing and being around daily.

Long live my lovely lady army.