Choose Better

I know this is your job and that’s all it might be to you. I know you have answered questions like mine a thousand times before and I understand that you might feel irritated when you are asked yet again. I know you see dozens of these cases a day. I understand that some information was missing in her chart. I am sorry the doctor didn’t tell you the whole story. I know you’re likely dealing with your own bag of life and that you can’t always leave it at the door when you come in to work. I’m picking up on the tone of your voice. I can hear what you’re saying to your coworkers about me. I can also see you roll your eyes when you think I’m not looking.

Here is what you don’t know: I have the utmost respect for you and what you do. I see YOU as the subject matter expert and am looking for you to tell me the things I don’t yet know. When it comes to her, I am the expert. Her health history does not exist solely in that folder you keep shaking at me. I don’t see things like this every day. I don’t have anyone else to ask my questions to and I refuse to use Google as a reliable source for medical information. I am also answering questions multiple times, both from medical professionals and other members of my family. Yes, I understand you told me this already, but in the midst of my worry, I didn’t quite hear everything you told me. All I need is clarification so I can do my part right. Talk to me with kindness and respect and I will ensure you have everything you need and then some. I have learned to listen carefully. And remember that I chose to remain kind and calm with you today, saying thank you for answering my questions amidst your dismissive behavior. I believe that love conquers all.

I am human. I spend time being scared because all this stuff is foreign to me. I am alone here today. Seconds ticking by on the clock are painfully slow. My only thoughts and concerns are of her. How it went and how she is doing. Did it work? Do we need to entertain Plan B? I need you to understand that she is my person. I take her health and well-being very seriously. I love her and she loves me right back. She trusts me to be an advocate for her when she is unable. She trusts me to look out for her. I don’t take that trust lightly or for granted. 

Tomorrow you will be nothing to me, just a sad reminder of the human condition in this world. This job might have been a passion when you started, but now it serves as a way to pay the bills and that comes through crystal clear in how you treated me today. Why is it so easy to choose anger, irritation, frustration and negativity? Why can we not approach our days and people in our paths with kindness, love, compassion and positive intention? 

The world needs you to show up better. Where there is darkness, be the light. Where there is anger, frustration and ugliness, be love. The better your choices, the better the experience for all.