BSG

Let’s talk about goals. Everyone has them. Financial, professional, family, relationship, fitness, goals are a part of everyday life. Or at least I believe them to be. If you don’t have any, how do you know what you’re moving towards or even what direction to move in? Every choice or move you make takes you either towards the goal of away from it. That’s straight truth right there. Some goals can be reached quickly, others may take weeks, months or perhaps even years.

When I set a goal, I do it in such a way that it will require me to grow into the person I need to be to achieve it. Tricky, hey? The thought of reaching a goal that hasn’t encouraged some sort of growth scares the hell out of me. Some days my goal is to put on pants and if I can do that AND maybe one or two other things, I can lay down at night, happy with my progress for the day.

In past years, big goals would immobilize me. I’d set them, get to work on an action plan and then totally freeze. Some of them would literally have me in the fetal position asking myself what the hell I was thinking when I talked myself into that. Even I thought I was crazy. I would spend more time agonizing about it than I would working towards it. These BSGs (Big Scary Goals) made me really uncomfortable and would cause a shut down. I would avoid anything that would relate to progress, make excuses and so on. And in the end when the date arrived that I had planned to complete said goal, I found I was no farther ahead than when I had originally written it down. Clearly my methods weren’t helping me get anywhere.

I figured out really quickly that I needed to understand who I truly was, how to reprogram old thought and habit patterns and that through those actions, I would begin to check off all my BSGs. Being able to look at these things now, I realize how closely intertwined every single thing is with how I wanted and needed to evolve as a person. I needed to grow into leadership in all facets of my life.

You know those sections in book stores and libraries labeled “Personal Growth” or “Self Help”? For longer than I’m proud to admit, I avoided those racks like the plague. I was stuck in a belief system of thinking I already knew everything I needed to know. I mean I was a grown up and had survived alllll these years so that meant I had to know a few things, right? The irony is that if I really knew everything, I’d likely own or have read every single book on those shelves. I had a few that had been given to me as gifts, but I never bothered looking at them. So much dust had collected on one of them that I could draw patterns on the cover. I had attempted to read a couple of them over the years, but I just couldn’t get a grip on what they were saying. I wasn’t engaged with it, so I made a habit of judging all the books by just one experience. Looking back I realize that I should have chosen something more in the beginner realm, but I thought if I could just fight my way through that one, I’d be set and on my path to enlightenment. What I quickly learned is that by making it hard, I began to hate it. There was no enjoyment in it for me and all I had learned was a way to cure my insomnia.

I picked up that stack of books, dusted them off (literally) and had no idea which one to start with. I put them all in a bag so I couldn’t see which was which and then I picked one. “What I Know For Sure” by Oprah Winfrey is what came out. I made a cup of tea and sat down, ready to read. I stared at the cover of it, unsure how to begin. Looking back, I think part of me was afraid that it would be the same thing all over again. I gave my head a shake, opened it up and started. About an hour later I realized I had read more than half the book. The astounding part was that I was actually ENJOYING it. That first book I read from cover to cover was in January 2015. 18 months later, my library and completion list has grown tremendously. And audio books! I must have ALL THE AUDIO BOOKS!!
I spent years wondering what the big secret was, how all these seemingly normal people got to live such extraordinary lives. I’m going to save you some time and heartache here and let you in on what I learned. All amazing things happen by having the courage to begin. That’s it. That’s the big secret. Sure there are thoughts that feed our fears, but when you take a step back and examine it, every single step forward you take will silence them. And I’m not saying that you need to read an hour a day. 20 minutes each day, reading or listening, will change you in ways you never imagined.

Small changes daily compound over time and those slight tweaks will lead to achievement in whatever direction you move in. You have some BSGs you want to check off? Start within. Your BSG should push and stretch you beyond any limit you ever thought you had. Don’t be scared of setting one that’s too big and it taking more time to reach. Be afraid of setting the bar too low for yourself. Grow into the person you need to be to reach the big scary ones.

My best tip to you is this: Whatever the goal, whatever the size, celebrate your milestones and achievements. Did you do something today that you were afraid of? Did it take you in the direction of your goal? Congratulations! CELEBRATE. Tell someone about it and BE PROUD! Too often we focus on how great we’ll feel when we get where we want to be and miss the fun we should be having along the way.

Enjoy your journey. Learn from the people and live for the moments. It all matters.