All The Socks

The kids have been off on fall break (yes there is such a thing and no they don’t have year-round schooling here) so I’ve seen quite a bit more of them than I normally do. We had some lazy, do nothing days that were glorious. Well, they had lazy, do nothing days while I continued on with business as usual. As we were playing some games one afternoon, I couldn’t help but notice the condition of their socks. One was wearing socks that were far too small for her feet, another had ones that were so threadbare that I could see the bottom of her toes and feet and the last had two different ones on. All the socks on their feet had certainly seen better days and looked dirty even though I knew I had just washed pretty much every piece of clothing in the house. It was a little gross.

My kids don’t usually wear matching socks. If they do happen to match, it’s because magically two of the same kind went into the washer together and then miraculously made it out of the dryer as well. I’m convinced my dryer eats socks. No idea where it stores them, but it must have quite the collection. Seriously. I have a giant bag of single socks all of which at one time or another had a mate. If they’re similar in cut but not colour I’ll match them up, but I won’t put an ankle sock and a knee sock together for obvious reasons. I mean, I have to draw the line somewhere right? To find the socks that have gone rogue, I’ve even had every one empty out their sock drawers on my living room carpet in an attempt to make a match. The OCD tendencies in me must match ALL the socks. I’ve pulled the dryer apart and even gone so far as to check the tubing and such behind it. It’s maddening! WHERE DO THEY GO?!

There have been days where one of the kids has come home from school missing one or both socks. For reals and I can’t even. I have these visions of my kids taking one off at school and tossing it in the lost and found or throwing one out the car window just to screw with me. It drives me nuts that these things seemingly disappear into thin air. But they’re never gone for good, no no no. When the single sock makes its final journey to the trash and you bid it farewell thinking that there will be one less to contend with next time you do laundry, you think it ends there. Right? NO. No it doesn’t. You know what actually happens? Some sick, twisted being returns the sole mate for the one you JUST threw out. It just APPEARS in the dryer the next time, all waiting to be matched to one not at all like it or put into the bloody bag of socks with no friends. HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN??

As I’m sure you’ve figured out after a year of reading my entries, the strangest things drum up odd thoughts and patterns. I don’t know how it happens, it just does. So in true fashion, this got me thinking about people I know/have known. You know, the ones that stick around for a short time, disappear and then reappear a while later. I find it interesting, especially when I look back and try to dissect what happened. Most commonly for me, it’s when I ask something of someone or we venture into unchartered territory in a conversation. They join a temporary Witness Protection Program, don’t answer phone calls or messages/texts and seemingly cut all contact. And it’s not like I try like crazy to get ahold of them, I’m talking 2-3 reach-outs tops over a lengthy period of time. Tickles my funny bone when I see them active on social media, but that’s a discussion for a different day. I always wonder where they go off to. And now I’m curious to know if maybe they take my socks with them.

I understand that people aren’t matches all the time and that’s totally okay. We are all human after all and we all have tendencies that can make us a little tricky from time to time. There are likely people out there that don’t notice when this happens. Clearly I’m not like that. I’m sensitive to certain behaviors and it can make me pretty uncomfortable. I know that life happens, but I’m still learning how not to take it personally all the time because it gets into my head, the ego uses it as ammunition against me and I get super apprehensive the next time I’m in a similar situation. I, like so many people out there, still have some work to do in this department. The mind is a quirky beast. And people, like socks, will end up back together if it’s meant to be that way. If they don’t, well I didn’t like that set as a pair anyway.

I decided today was a good day to start an overhaul. Off to Costco I went to stock up on new socks for everyone and I even picked up a few extra ones to donate. With all the holiday visiting coming up, I figure I should at least pretend to know what the hell I’m doing with this parenting thing and get the kids some actual matching pairs. Trendy as it might be to wear different ones, I know people silently wonder WTF when they look at my kids’ feet.

I’m on to you Sock Thief. We’ve had a good go, but I know your game. If I have to pin these motherf*ckers together, we WILL have matching socks. There will be no more Lost Souls Sock Bag, not in my house. I’ve come to win.